One Cafe at a Time

This April marked the beginning of my last four months in KL. Rather than travel extensively, I decided to stay in KL and visit at least one different café in Kuala Lumpur every weekend. In the process, I have mastered the GPS — even when I forget to tell it that I am walking and not driving.

Cafe Adventures

Sometimes when I am on a café adventure, I add in another challenge that starts with, for example, I’ll bet I could walk from Pasar Seni to KL Sentral. It is only one LRT (Light Rail Transit) stop away. I ended up on something like a super highway on that foray, but I made it. It was so satisfying to realize where I was when I stumbled upon the YMCA.

Times Square of Kuala Lumpur

Today, I am sitting in a café that I like the least of all the ones that I have visited. It is in Bukit Bintang, which is trying hard to be the Times Square of Kuala Lumpur. Some places in KL have never cut it for me, and Bukit Bintang is one of them. I get lost every time I come here. It is full of giant screens, fancy hotels, honking horns, malls and trendy expats and tourists. It is everything that KL is not.

Cafe Adventure Rules

Part of the café adventure is finding it. But there are some rules.

One rule is that I have to take public transportation, and then I have to walk following my GPS. I usually wear a dress because it is too hot to wear anything else. I am the tall, white, crazy GPS-wielding chick with the GPS. I wonder if I stand out. It always takes me a few spins to get in sync with my GPS arrow. I spend a bit of time walking in circles for a few minutes trying to believe that my GPS is pointing me in the right direction.

Another adventure rule is that I cannot give up. I have to find the café. Asking for directions is allowed, but never fruitful because no one understands me, or if they do, I don’t understand them. Malaysia has its own English, which is a challenge sometimes. Today was challenging because not only was the café in Bukit Bintang, it was raining, I had three percent of battery life left, and the GPS thought I was driving. People in KL do not walk to destinations mainly because it is too hot. It is by no means a walking city. Instead, it is a giant traffic jam most of the time.

Finding my bearings

When the GPS told me that I had reached my destination, located at Fahrenheit 88, I realized that the Connoisseurs Café was in a mall on G Floor lot 43. I never know if I am on G, or LG, or 1, unless I ask, or there is a sign hidden somewhere. Malaysians don’t have simple floor labels starting with one. Most of the time it is LG, G, 1, 2, 3, 3a, 5 and up. Four is an unlucky number, and it is not included in any number sequence. Some places have B levels as well, and there can be as many as three of those.

The first person I asked didn’t know what floor she was on either. The guard had no idea what I was asking him; the woman at the ice cream counter didn’t have a clue. Finally, two Chinese shop owners directed me to the concierge, who not only knew what floor I was on but where the café was. It ended up being a glass enclosed café on the sidewalk outside of the mall. How could I have missed it?

Other cafe misses

I have missed the other cafes on my adventures, but with good reason. The café’s near Pasar Seni hide deeply just outside of Chinatown and usually on the second floor. These are where the treasure cafes hide — gems with creaky wooden floors. They are funky, trendy, and they serve dynamite coffee.

I'll bet. . .

The Connoisseur Café is starting to fill up now. The rain has stopped, and the girl next to me has answered two cell phone calls in the course of a minute. The Time Square lights are getting brighter, and the traffic outside is building to a louder clatter than it was before. I am full of my dry cheesecake, one late and bitter lemon soda. Now I have to decide whether or not I am going to take the monorail to the LRT or see what happens if I ask the GPS for walking directions back to the LRT. My phone is at 23 percent. I’ll bet I can walk to KLCC (KL City Center) before it either starts to rain or it gets dark.